Reservations, part 2

AU_ElSalvador-sheet

This Saturday’s run was the hardest yet.  Mile 7, I broke down in tears, 2.5 more to go….. when did I decide that this was a good idea?  I know I can do this….but at that mile 7 moment; I had reservations.

Saturday night, a few hours after the long run, I’m out with a group of close friends.  One shares the fantastic news that her employer will match her contribution/pledge towards my run – $5 a mile baby, times two!  Wow!  I’m floored that she pledged and went to so much trouble to submit the request to her employer.  Thank you, friends, for the faith you have instilled in me, but guys, I’m feeling the pressure now.  Feet, don’t fail me now.

Same evening, friends asked if I still had reservations about El Salvador.  My response, “Of course.”  Second question, “Well, it is different than Haiti, right?”  I respond, “Well, yes – with Haiti, I had no idea what I was getting myself into, this time, I’ve no excuse.”  I remind myself, this is the right thing to do. 3 months of running every day, and I don’t even like to run.  Social life in the toilet – Friday nights early to bed and Saturday night, I’m too tired to go out.  Dating?  Maybe a lunch, but- oh, that’s right, I’ve got to go for a run over my lunch hour because I hate running in the cold DARK.

I have to ask.   Perhaps even Gandhi  or the Dahli Lama have faced a question of self…. at some time? Right?  “If you can, help others; if you can’t, at least don’t harm them,”  Dali Lama.  “You must be the change you wish to see in the world,”  Mahatma Gandhi.

Thinking back to my reservations the night before I was leaving for Haiti…. Nervous and sick to my stomach, I called my dear friend Joe, “What am I doing – what is it going to be like, can I do this?”  He responded, “you asked for this – remember. Go for a bike ride right now, you’ll feel better; tomorrow, you go.”   Friends, please, be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it.  Two months from now, in El Salvador, I’ll remember that this is what I asked for; a wise man once told me so.

 

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